40767

Joke of the Day

"Arsenal did the mannequin challenge for 89minutes at Old Trafford and still drew."

"I just did 50 crunches in an hour... the wrappers are everywhere."

"If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it. Not happy but so be it."

"What do you call an Native American slut that gives directions. A Navajo. I'll leave now."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke would get for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."

"Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza? Not Jack's."

"Two prostitutes are discussing One asks the other: -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year? The other one answers: -Oh fifty dollars, like everybody else, why?"

"What is Somailias national dish? An empty plate"

"wife: ""im sorry, he has to try everything before he buys it"" store owner: ""it's okay"" me: [lying in a coffin] ""the first one was better"""