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Joke of the Day

"Cops think i am worth the chase...apparently."

"What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard."

"Well...well...well Welcome to stutter class"

"*me at fast food counter* ""hey mister, did this meat bark or meow?"" ""It asked stupid questions."""

"I need to buy some maternity clothes. And by maternity clothes, I mean clothes I wear when I punch pregnant women."

"What can I bring to your party? Friend: A six pack. [does 10 crunches] [cancels]"

"When they say a girl is dynamite In Pakistan, they mean it."

"I was touched by Jesus today Oh wait that's a Duggar"

"Why did everyone make fun of the economist's fetish? He was into inflation."

"My girlfriend wanted a nose job for her birthday. It took me a while, but I got her off."