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Joke of the Day

"Government Shutdown: Day Two Mars rover Curiosity sits with nothing to do. Watches all 5 seasons of ""The Wire"". Totally gets the hype now."

"If I had a dollar for every time I overexaggerated I'd have, like, a billion dollars"

"If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing."

"In North Korea, you actually do get freedom of speech. Just not freedom *after* your speech."

"Does your wife have dry lips? Because I saw her putting some chap's dick on her lips"

"How do you make a pheromone? Tell him, ""Let my people go."""

"When does a Mexican know he's hungry? His asshole stops burning."

"How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard... Put him in the backyard"

"So four gay guys walk into a crowded bar, there is only one stool free. How do they all sit? They turn the stool upside down"

"Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL"