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Joke of the Day

"a guy walks into a bar... ...says ""ouch"""

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"Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped."
"What do you call the shiniest people? Polish"
"I hate it when my girlfriend tells me she's about to come I have shitty cellphone reception."
"A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle."
"OK! My friend wanted to know how big the ocean was? (Click to view my Answer). You have to be more Pacific. :D"
"Why don't cows simply run away from their farms? Because they don't have enough sta**moo**na"
"I know a guy who bowled a 301. ""How'd he do that?"" Because you can't bowl a 300 and lose."
"How many gay guys can sit on a stool? Four, if you flip it upside down."
"A fruit probably wouldn't travel to Australia But a veggie might"