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Joke of the Day

"a guy walks into a bar... ...says ""ouch"""

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"A Chinese guy walks into the wall with a erection And he chips his tooth"
"Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween? So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks."
"What do truck drivers and porn stars have in common? They both get paid by the load."
"[creation] GOD: Let's name some of you bugs FLY: Me first! GOD: Okay...Fly FLY: Hell yeah! BUTTERFLY: Now me! GOD: Hmm...Butterfly FLY: Sonuvab-"
"Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill."
"How long do black women need to bring the garbage out? About 9 month."
"A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor.... Eye doctor says ""You've got a cataract."" Chinaman says ""No, I drive Rincoln Continental."""
"5-year-old: *spreads arms wide* I love you this much. Me: Aw. 5: *spreads arms even wider* But I'd love you this much if we had a pool."
"Him: What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god? Me: oh, um, science."