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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Did you take Mike's stapler and leave a note demanding that he meet you for drinks later? Me: WHAT!?! Noooo....wait, did he say yes?"

"anyone who puts that dumb ass Gotye song on when im with them instantly becomes somebody that i used to know."

"What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth."

"How do you re-use a condom? Turn it inside-out and shake the fuck out of it."

"What do you call the foreskin on a gay guy..? Mud flaps"

"What is a Nazi baker's secret ingredient? White Flour!"

"How do you take a selfie with a goat?"

"You can tell a lot about a person by their car.... For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman."

"Why did the snooker player go to the toilet? To pot the brown."

"Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman"