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Joke of the Day

"My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding. He's not happy about it either."

"My truck is a lot like Tony Romo. It will turn over, but the clutch doesn't work."

"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"

"Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year"

"a quick zinger If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"Knights and dragons must have been the first rappers. After all, dragons spit fire, and knights slay."

"What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries? A one trip pony :D"

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines"

"I dream of the day when automatic paper towel dispensers finally realize the human hand isn't 3 inches long."

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo I'll take lookout"