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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris doesn't say ""who's your daddy"", because he knows the answer."

"What's Hitler's least favorite Beatles song? Hey Jude"

"[wife walks in on me rubbing coconut oil all over my body] What are you doing? ""Uhh, SOMEONE said I don't glisten very well?"""

"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins."

"Your mother walks into the bar It's ""the"" bar because she's so fat she's in every bar."

"I bet the ""YMCA"" dance is harder to do in different languages."

"Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt died in a car accident? She got cut off by a dick."

"GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent"

"What confuses a gay person? Seven"

"dad: I can't find my glasses, can you read what this says for me? me: ""Dad do you want to go to Home Depot"" dad: [voice catching] Sure son"