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Joke of the Day

"One of the benefits of being a hermit You're always the best-dressed man in the room."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Peter, you've reposted that joke for over 8 years now, please stop flooding the subreddit with that."""

"There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ... The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence."

"Coke is like porn you keep coming back for more! :)"

"I just referred to tongs as 'food tweezers' in case you want to be in awe of my command of the English language."

"Ambitious workaholics in Taiwan typically have a Taipei personality."

"Instagramming daily selfies does not constitute personal growth."

"Horse walks into a bar Bartender says: ""Why the long face?""...... Horse responds: ""Because my drinking problem is tearing my family apart."""

"What is a pirate's favorite kind of explosive? A M-80."

"I am a joke. I am not a joke. What is laughter? DEATH! I died of laughter tomorrow!"