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Joke of the Day

"what happens after kidz bop 68? are they gonna skip a number or just go for it or what"

"[loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks."

"Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers."

"Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the ""energizing"" claims. You're soap."

"Why do white girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"Telemarketer: Are you a homeowner? Me: How big are your lips? Telemarketer: .... Me: Your lips. Are they huge? *click*"

"I'm going to major in Marijuana when I go to college... I hear it's a growing field."

"5: Daddy, can we go get ice cream? Me: I don't see why not. 5: Mommy said I couldn't. M: Hey, there's the why not."

"My friend's grandpa who was suffering from Alzheimer's passed away recently He forgot he was alive"

"What did the painting on the wall say to the cop? I've been framed!"