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Joke of the Day

"Happy 47th birthday, teens logging into adults-only websites! And the same to anyone else whose birthday actually *is* January 1st, 1969."

"Have you heard about the humble farmer? He's a grower, not a shower."

"What do we do when chemists die? We barium."

"My Grandad spent most of the war on the lookout out for German bombers. He was a lifeguard at Berlin Swimming Baths."

"Woman is at a maternity hospital in a lot of pain. Her husband strokes her back and says, ""I'm sorry sweety, you have to go through this"" She says, ""Don't worry. It's not your fault."""

"I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn't find a close enough parking spot so I left."

"How do you spell Canada in Canadian? C EH N EH D EH"

"A guy walks into a bar... He should have ducked."

"How does Soylent Green taste? It varies from person to person."

"How does a metalworker like his Steak cooked? wel-dern"