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Joke of the Day
"A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out."
Next Joke
"What do you call a felon who enjoys getting zapped and has a go-to attitude? A con-do-it!"
"[helping son prepare for first date] ""what if she doesn't like it"" *stuffing handkerchiefs up son's sleeve* be confident in your magic, son"
"*tip toes out front door* *wife texts me from China* ""Where you going?"""
"Most of the 1990s was spent staring at a cool light display on an Aiwa stereo."
"If Spider Man eats too much fruit he squirts Silly String."
"The True Power of the Spacebar Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man afire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Wearing sunglasses inside is a great way to let people know that you should be hated unconditionally"
"""Well, you should have been more specific before I painted all these veins."" - designer of the Wienermobile"
"Can everyone please stop making political posts? You're never going to be able to make anything funnier than reality."