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Joke of the Day

"I used to think porn stars got paid alot it turns out they've been getting shafted"

"What does gasoline taste like? I don't know, I'm in a coma."

"spit your drink at the person sitting across from you and tell them it's because you were laughing at this."

"I'm a dirty bird. *shits on your windshield*"

"The software development process i can't fix this *crisis of confidence* *questions career* *questions life* oh it was a typo, cool"

"My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises."

"Q: What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V? A: His brother running with the V.C.R"

"I have a file on my computer named Hillary Clinton When I tried to open it, I got a message saying ' file is too corrupt'"

"What would an anime spinoff of Dora the Explorer be called? Swiper no Swiping"

"If God is always watching... ...then one day, while masturbating, I'm gonna look that motherfucker straight in the eye and finish like a boss."