39260

Joke of the Day

"A bird in the hand is worth two... Years in prison if you get caught doing it in public."

"When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work. Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response. Training works both ways"

"Why did God make farts smell? So that deaf people could enjoy them too."

"Learning someone led a double life would hard to process because yes, they betrayed you, but wow, think about those organizational skills"

"People who write clickbait headlines for a living: Fuck you."

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? None of your damn business. Am I being detained?"

"My ""it's cold outside"" post just went viral on Facebook."

"What is the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit and the other one can hoot but can't shit."

"I've been tweeting for 10 hours straight...and 3 hours gay."

"Why was my other pillow jealous? Because I like to sleep around."