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Joke of the Day

"how to you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? you wave at her."

"Today I masturbated 8 times! A personal record for me... In my defence Schindler's list was a long film"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Colin ! Colin who ? Colin all cars Colin all cars !"

"How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan"

"And breaking news, a man has been rushed to hospital after having 6 plastic horses shoved up his ass. He is in a stable condition."

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? After ten years your job still sucks"

"Yo momma so fat The U.N sends her a strongly worded letter for occupying too much space."

"A friend told me I'm out of touch. I laughed so hard I almost peed my Hammer pants."

"I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard."

"I'm so glad they released a patch for my car The windshield was starting to get buggy."