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Joke of the Day

"How is Donald Trump going to improve American produce? He is going to make American grapes again."

"Dude you're like my fridge... Super cool. (Best used when a friend is bragging about themselves)"

"Wanted: A pack of Polo's, Unopened. In Mint condition"

"SCORE! Some girl on my friends list asked me to meet her for drinks tonight! All I need to do is hit the ATM and lose 70 lbs by 8 O'Clock."

"Why can't elephants go skinny dipping? They can't get their trunks off..."

"Buys valentine. Writes ""I love you"" inside. Mails card to self. Receives card in mail. Reads card. ""Eww, why do I attract losers?"""

"Why do people prefer male bovine over female? Many would rather be served a Sir Loin than a Miss Steak."

"Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out? On the Yeast Side."

"How many RothChilds does it take to change a light bulb? There still working on it..."

"Go to Starbucks. Tell them your name is Dad. Hide in the crowd. Listen as the hipster barista says ""Dad?..Dad?..DAD?..DAD?!"" & starts crying"