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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction? Boneless chicken."

"I tried to shuffle a pile of Ibuprofen I guess drug dealing just isn't for me."

"Bring brownies to work. Spend the rest of the day asking coworkers, ""you feelin anything yet?"""

"I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party."

"What does a cab driver have in common with a pool cue ball? The harder you hit them, the more english you get out."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He was a fungi. Why did he end up leaving the party? There wasn't mushroom."

"This PS4 Pirate Simulator game is rubbish! Bringing your ship into harbour is a nightmare! I guess it's just a bad port."

"I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)"

"What's green and german? Snotzis."

"What do the Optimist Club and the Mile High Club have in common? They're both about giving a flying fuck."