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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future? A four-chin teller."

"[Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- ""What about Leo?"" Steward: No. Leo dies."

"How does a witch tell time? With a witchwatch."

"I guess you could say I like my life how I like my coffee I don't like coffee"

"How Many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they're so darn stupid!"

"I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting."

"First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug."

"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."

"So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks."

"They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken."