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Joke of the Day

"There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot."

"What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? a GUMMY BEAR."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black."

"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."

"You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film ""Helicopter Shots of People Walking."""

"I bought crappy music for 5 cents today, but the guy ripped me off. As he ran off, I yelled ""Hey, I want my nickel back!"""

"The star singer of Gangnam Style should invent his own style of fashion/furnishing... He could call it **PSY Chic** ..He *knows* you'd like it."

"wife on facebook: homework with 9, he's doing so well! wife to me: it took him 8 tries to spell cake. CAKE. grab some wine on your way home"