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Joke of the Day

"My friend Stephen misheard me when I invited him to this CrossFit gym. He's going to have a hell of a time running in stilettos."

"Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained."

"A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the ""b"" is silent."

"What did Harry Potter say when he found Dumbledore in bed with his godfather? Are you fucking Sirius?"

"Why did the rich guy crash his car? He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends"

"The plane starts going down. I say, ""If we die, know that hat is hideous"". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since."

"What do you call a chinese millionaire? Cha-Ching!"

"I'm the guy that lures fragile old ladies into my windowless van at night with Werthers Originals.Then safley escort them to the bingo hall."

"I created a Harry Potter thread in ask reddit. I wanted Sirius replies only."

"WHISKERS: There's nothing there. Go ahead. BLIND PERSON: *Steps off cliff* WHISKERS: Technically ^-- why we don't have seeing-eye cats"