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Joke of the Day
"It's International Holocaust Remembrance Day And Fugghedaboutit Day in Germany."
Next Joke
"The awkward moment when you remember something but you don't know if it was real or just a dream."
"This year, measuring your accomplishments against Lindsay Lohan's will ensure you feel like a winner merely for avoiding the penal system."
"What weighs 12lbs and won't be getting plucked this Christmas Scott Weilands guitar"
"How do you make a hormone? Slap her in the face and refuse to pay her."
"How do you start a Mexican bedtime story? Juans upon a time."
"What do you call Pixar porn? Fucked Up"
"Hellen of troy, the face that launched a thousand ships... ...And the ass that docked them."
"Me: He's starting to stir! Wife: Shhhh. Me: OH MY GOD... Wife: Be quiet. Me: HE'S GOT A KNIFE! Wife: I hate watching cooking shows with you."
"Girlfriend Detective Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."" Me: ""Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."""