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Joke of the Day

"Why did the gay scarecrows get divorced after their surrogate mother aborted their IVF baby on obamacare? The whole thing was one big straw man argument."

"Had bacon this morning, made Monday joke, drinking coffee, will masturbate later. I AM TWITTER!"

"When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work? Are there any side effects?' No, it's Can I drink with these?'"

"What kind of monkey can fly? A hot air baboon!"

"To be honest, Adolf Hitler was a hero... Afterall, he was the one who killed Adolf Hitler."

"How do the Russian people feel about their government? They're Putin up with it."

"I logged into MySpace for the first time since 2005. It was full of private messages from women who wanted to ""Blockbuster and Chill""."

"How school works: In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples.He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass."

"What type of cheese is strong? Shredded cheese."

"The Klondike Bar found out what I did for it, and now it's blackmailing me."