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Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter what you order at Taco bell... You're going to end up with Taco-ria"

"Why did the momma pepper tuck in her baby? Because he was a little chili (Actually came up with this while making chili)"

"The only thing we can anticipate about Nelson Mandela's condition is that his rap discography is about to skyrocket in the charts."

"Guy comes home with a flower bouquet... ""Guess I'll have to spread my legs now"", says the wife. ""Why? Don't you have a vase?"" the husband replies."

"I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is still awake at midnight and talking back right now."

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"""...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right."" -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet."

"Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar? Because you need to be 21 to get in."

"What do you call a pallbearer from Oklahoma? A Karaoke"

"prophets this guy is making mines cleverly disguised as prayer mats. he says his prophets are going through the roof!"