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Joke of the Day

"Saturday in my 20's: ""Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!"" Tonight: ""Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"""

"What is the stupidest animal in the jungle? The Polar Bear."

"""How many fingers do I have up?"" - a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny"

"When comedian Jimmy Carr was told by an obese women ""I think you're fatist,"" he responded, ""No. I think you're fattest."""

"Ate a bag of Sun chips and now I need 300 stitches in my mouth"

"if you don't appreciate Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless"

"So happy I got to see ""bucket list"" added to the dictionary before I die."

"Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment."

"And the Oscar goes to... ...Jail!"

"Mail some pirates a treasure map leading to the exact spot where you need a hole dug for a tree."