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Joke of the Day

"Idea! Tiny headphones for pigeons who are self-conscious about their head bopping & want to make it look like they're listening to music."

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"Virgins They never gave a fuck."
"Lighten up your drive-thru experience by saying ""I just need two buns"" into the speaker then pulling up with a live cow in your backseat."
"How many jail guards does it take to change a light bulb? Why does it matter? Everyone knows the prison system can't change anything."
"How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz..... With a broom and a dustpan."
"I saw a flock of angry ducks the other day. I wonder why they were in such a fowl mood."
"A doctor says to his patient, ""I have good new and bad news..."" Patient: ""I'd like the good news first"" Doctor : ""Well, you're going to have a disease named after you..."""
"In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a very generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research."
"What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub? Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry."
"What animal did they have in concentration camps? Dachau"