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Joke of the Day

"Gotta be consistent about working under the influence so coworkers think you're naturally that weird"

"Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"A News Reporter just described someone as ""Healthy as a Bus"". Yeah....I don't know either."

"A gay guy just called me an asshole... Does that mean he likes me?"

"I made an app that tells you were people with dwarfism are at all times. I can't be the only one thinking of the imp-locations."

"I used to think I was homophobic. It turns out that I was just afraid of monsters in the closet."

"China already tried Trump's giant wall idea, and we saw how that worked out... not too many fuckin' Mexicans in China, are there?"

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"I want to be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness."

"What happens when you piss off a blind mobster Your neighbor gets a horse ass in their bed."