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Joke of the Day

"Women who like facials must be a myth. At least, I've never cum across one."

"A guy walks into a bank with a gun I don't know what happens next I was outside."

"What type of clothing does a House wear? Address."

"Walking inside a Nike store would be the worst place to contemplate suicide. Just do it."

"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher's problem? She worked it out with a #2 pencil."

"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"

"Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, ""Wow. You've aged badly..."""

"""I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!!!"" (Seductively takes baby dragon out of Gucci purse & lights cigarette.)"

"I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?"