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Joke of the Day
"Whether you are a pile of rubble or dust in the wind... ...depends on how you were razed."
Next Joke
"Success is having no idea where the nearest Coinstar machine is."
"[christmas lights are being put up] Every moth ever: oh hell yeah"
"Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose."
"McDonald's is like if Ke$ha were a restaurant."
"Every single person my age... ...is 43."
"What did the carpet say to the floor? Don't move -- I've got you covered."
"Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide."
"I'm a gentleman, I never kiss and tell but yea, she sucked my dick."
"Thor. He follows the same naming conventions as macho men with their dogs. Thor means thunder. But also the literal translation of Mjolnir is ""crusher""."