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Joke of the Day

"Pilot: Hi folks, I thought it'd be nice to speak to you out here instead of over the intercom. Unrelated, is anyone on board a locksmith?"

"How do u confuse a blonde Tell them to pee in the corner of a silo"

"There are two types of people. Those who have sex daily And those who don't have dyslexia"

"I tried smuggling child porn across the border once.... and i would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those fucking kids!"

"How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll compliment it, but then get pissed off when it doesn't screw."

"My brain hurts. That means it's getting stronger. Right?"

"A Freudian slip is when you say something by mistake that gives away What you were really wanking about...I mean thinking about. -Ricky Gervais"

"what's brown and sticky? A stick."

"A former boxer decided to go into the writing business There is no punchline."

"If you don't send the person you're stalking a nude photo of yourself, then you're not taking that relationship serious enough!"