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Joke of the Day

"Maybe I'm like Spider-Man except I got bit by a radioactive sloth."

"The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin Mcallister because I'm always going home alone"

"We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played"

"I figured out why new mothers are so tired. Having kids really takes a lot out of you."

"If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnaping?"

"Chuck Norris, the actor, film producer and screenwriter died in his house today at 76 years of age He is now feeling much better and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance"

"Why was the broom late? Because it over swept! (Source: Thomas and Friends - Edward the hero)"

"You know who is lazy to type?"

"Judge: I sentence you to life in prison Defendant: NOOOO MY ONLINE PRESENCE"

"I get beavers and similar animals mixed up. I otter know better."