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Joke of the Day
"What did the hookers hang on the christmas tree? Whore-naments"
Next Joke
"My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: ""can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"""
"Cross-eyed people, just look down. We'll come get you if we need you."
"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough."
"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ? The wheelchair!"
"It's so annoying when you're trying to poison someone but they're just not thirsty :("
"I am trying to find my selfie image in iPhone 7 Until I remember I took that one with John Cena."
"I watched this documentary the other day but I didn't like it... ...because it was absolutely incredible."
"Cremation My last chance at a smoking hot body"
"A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender ""Do you have any helicopter flavored chips?"" The Bartender says ""No, we only have plane"""