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Joke of the Day

"My next song is about subtraction. Take it away..."

"Girl, if you got any hotter you'd be so earth-shatteringly hot the ground would split & we'd burn to death in molten lava. That would suck."

"The Flame of my Lighter smells of burned Nosehair!"

"What did they bilingual foot model say as he enjoyed chips and warm bread by the fireplace? ""Tengo toasty toes, toast y toes, y Tostitos."" My friend just posted this to Facebook :)"

"I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She's behind with the laundry."

"How to build a nested list 1) Start like this A) Then do this Bird: I live here now 2) Make sure to get the bird out Bird: NO"

"ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*"

"You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you."

"""Hey were you born on a highway?"" Kevin asked. Kevin continued, ""Because that's where accidents happen."""

"What do you call an Artist in a Dark Alley? Sketchy"