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Joke of the Day
"Guns don't kill people... ... Husbands who come home early, kill people."
Next Joke
"What do terrorists eat? Allah snack bar. They say its the bomb!"
"Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he felt funny. (I can't take credit for this joke, my boss's 8y/o son came up with it.)"
"I hate when people don't watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting."
"I found out about you from my last nightmare."
"I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night He hypnotised 7 blokes then dropped the microphone on his foot and said 'fuck me!' What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life"
"Psychiatrist to the patient: - Your case is clear. You have double personality. Please, pay bill $ 100 for the consultation... - *Keep $ 50. The rest will make the second one*"
"How do you titillate an Ocelot? Ocillate it's tit a lot"
"I am exceedingly charismatic but I have trouble pronouncing words beginning with 'f' and 'th'..... ...... Can't say fairer than that."
"Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago? Because 'Illinois you!"