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Joke of the Day

"Dear Applicant, Your resume appears to be a string of stolen tweets. Congratulations, you're our new VP of Marketing!"

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"When Germany won the World Cup, I did nazi that coming."
"I earned a masters degree and a doctorate; I have $413.21 in assets. Weird Al Yankovic is worth 11 million. Kids, don't stay in school."
"If I had a nickel for every existential crisis I've ever had.. Does money even matter ?"
"A world without women would be a pain in the ass!!! ... If you don't get it... you don't deserve to."
"Amy's Baking Company"
"The people who designed the English language had an interesting sense of humor... I would love to meet the guy who made up the spelling for lisp."
"2 little boys are arguing About whose dad has a better job. First says ""mines a Dr."" second says "" well mines a lawyer"" first says in disbelief "" honest? "" second says "" naw the usual kind"""
"What do you call black men working while white men watch? Slav-The NBA"
"I tried buy only some of the songs off of a Beatles album But the store owner said they all come together"