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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you the sun because you need to stay 92,960,000 miles away from me."

"It's better to have loved and lost than be eaten by a bear."

"What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer."

"Worst day. Had a tampon behind my ear all afternoon and still cant find my cigarette."

"The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit."

"Feminists are like proximity mines. Anything can trigger them and they blow it way out of proportion."

"Have you heard of the new Divorced Barbie Doll? It comes with all of Ken's stuff!"

"Stepped into a spot this morning, where my dog had an accident. Unfortunately for her, taxidermy comes before training in the phone book"

"Wait, there's a big difference. Did you say I look like THE Rock or did you say I look like A rock?"

"My neighbor is loud and obnoxious Now I know how Canada feels"