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Joke of the Day

"too many moms aren't taking care of themselves, need to just laugh more, reddit moms, what makes you laugh?"

"I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: ""Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."""

"Whats green and can kill you if it gets between your teeth? A tractor"

"Psychopaths make up about 1% of the US population. Exposing them is easy, just text your friends & check who has their read receipts on."

"Just once I want to see ""Soooo many animals harmed in the making of this movie. Like, SO many. An insane amount. Too many, probably."""

"What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch? Namaste"

"I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that."

"Why was the Shire so shocked when Bilbo threw himself and Sam into Mt. Doom? They were the first citizens they ever lost to a Mordor-suicide like that."

"Why do teenage girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and Jesus? You only need one nail for the picture."