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Joke of the Day

"I miss the good old days when boot camp was for soldiers, not pudgy sorority girls attempting to get in shape for Spring Break."

"A friend is like a book: you don't need to read all of them, just pick the best ones."

"What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !"

"[1st day in heaven] God: Welcome! Have a taco and a shot of tequila. Do you like music? Me: Yeah. G: How about a little, *giggles* Nirvana?"

"the only proof i have that there is a god is that one time i saw a dude in a ""Bazinga"" shirt get into a car and drive directly into a tree"

"""Sometimes I feel like a woman trapped in a woman's body"" - Russian nesting doll"

"When I get home from work, I like to pack myself into really small suitcases. I can hardly contain myself."

"What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries? Guidelines"

"George Bush is a pretty handsome man I would rate him 9/11"

"Studies show that Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee have an obesity rate of over 30%. Maybe they'll change their name from the Bible Belt to the Loosened Belt."