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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people people ask me what I'm doing in 5 years I mean like, come on guys I don't have 20/20 vision."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Almond ! Almond who ? Almond the side of the law ! Kn"

"What do you call a republican fashion director? Clothed minded"

"Don't worry, men. Women can't tell women to calm down either."

"What drug can Donald Trump not live without? Xanax, for Hispanic attacks."

"I asked my boss for a raise and full-benefits package. But before I knew it, she was going down on me."

"Q: Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl? A: There was a restraining order."

"New Channels: Bin Laden dead That's ruined the game, what do we do now it's our turn to hide?"

"A while ago, I had an idea for a movie about the invention of the airplane It's been really hard getting it off the ground"

"I met an urban dwarf who keeps perfect time. He's a metronome."