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Joke of the Day

"Don't worry, men. Women can't tell women to calm down either."

"A rope walks into a bar And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter."

"Why do politicians take laxatives? So that they can speak more fluently!"

"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point."

"How do Jewish mothers prevent wrinkles? Oil of Oy Vey."

"Fun Fact: When the bartender asks if you want two or three fingers, he isn't always talking about the liquor."

"Him: Can you believe what's going on in Egypt? Me: Yeah...it's crazy...I gotta go. Bye. Me: *googles what's happening in Egypt?*"

"What happened when Jesus went to mount Olive? Popeye fucking smacked him one."

"I, for one, like Roman numerals"

"My Girlfriend Has Always Wanted To Wake Me Up With A Blowjob So today I woke her up with one"