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Joke of the Day

"I heard abortions are quite exhausting.. I was confused too, but apparently it really takes it out of you."

"What do you call a scary frog A creepy leapy"

"My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends... I really hope it's Todd, he's cute"

"Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?"

"I fell and hit my head on my drum set today... Me: Dad, I think I have a concussion Dad: No son, you have a PER-cussion"

"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."

"I found ISIS's website... It's the bomb dot com!"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"My future's so bright that I have to wear lampshades like an injured dog."

"Did you ever hear about the Bass player whose timing was so bad he threw himself behind a train?"