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Joke of the Day

"Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses? Ebay."

"4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?"

"When asked by the creepy guy at the bar ""Why aren't you smiling?"" my go-to answer is always ""My yeast infection really is bubbling up."""

"What's the only difference between a near sighted and a far sighted gynecologist ? A wet nose."

"What separates man from animals? According to Donald Trump, the wall he is going to build."

"Great big polar bear(she says what?) It broke the ice!"

"If you smell burnt toast, you may be having a stroke... But if you also smell bacon then you're probably having breakfast."

"Me: I have no friends My bed: Wow I'm like right here"

"What do the Welsh call a sheep when it's tied to a lamp post? The leisure centre."

"You know what a satisfied woman sounds like? I didn't think so."