37045

Joke of the Day

"Too err is human... To Arr is pirate."

"I'd like to have a child one day. Two days, tops."

"How do you spot a vegan at the gym? Pretty much the same as anyone else."

"What is a caterpillar afraid of? a dogerpillar. Sorry. It was so bad that I had to share it. Fuck you Laffy Taffy."

"why were the people in the twin towers so upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain"

"What is the difference between a panda, four lesbians and a firetruck?"

"I'd like two tickets, please. - Is it for The Hobbit? - No, she's my girlfriend."

"Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !"

"This is so embarrassing, what's your name again? - me, the first 30 times I meet everyone"

"The Jewish Dad A Jewish kid asks his dad for $50. His dad replies ""$40?! What the hell do you need $30 for?!"""