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Joke of the Day

"You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!"

"What's the difference between America and a pot of yogurt? If you leave a pot of yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture."

"A magician turns into a driveway..."

"Divorce is tough on some kids Others are just happy to be single again."

"I love dating umpires. I always feel safe."

"My gf told me to stop being childish, she just wants to come in for a talk not my fault she cant remember the password to my pillow fortress"

"My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv."

"What is it called when your s.o. comes up with reasons to not make love? Sexcuses"

"Lou Gehrig... ... died from Lou Gehrig's disease. What are the chances of that?"

"2 Types of People I Hate 1) People who make lists. 2) Hypocrites"