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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an obnoxious potato? A dictator."
Next Joke
"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist."
"[after blowing out all the candles on my cake] him: Did you wish for world peace again? me: haha of course. *A WILD SQUIRTLE APPEARS*"
"Why don't Jewish men eat pussy? Because it's too close to the gas chamber."
"My friend is pretty bad at navigation.... It seems he as a latitude problem."
"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is taco ME: four please JUDGE: we're not- ME: with chips JUDGE: ordering ME: *lips on mic* extra guac"
"Most girls know what they're wearing next Halloween because they saw another girl wearing it last night."
"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ""no-bell"" prize."
"[camera cuts to me in crowd at NFL game holding a giant sign that says ""I CAN'T BELIEVE THE HOT DOGS ARE 8 DOLLARS""]"
"Don't steal. That's the government's job."