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Joke of the Day

"If you play a Windows Vista disc backwards, you can hear satanic chanting... ...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista."

"What happened to the magical tractor? It turned into a field"

"Tonight the 3-year-old asked: ""How did God make Himself?"" I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime."

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club. I was confused, I'd never met herbivore."

"Tom Swifty ""My mom is my dad!"" Said Tom transparently."

"I was arrested for assault with a chicken. The cops suspected foul play."

"What's the difference between Comcast and hell ... Hell has better customer service."

"It's so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man's name. No I don't want to hold Keith but can he look over my investment portfolio for me"

"What did the hillbilly say when he saw the new C7 Vette? NAS-car"

"I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni."