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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Irish fruit punch? A barfight in a gaybar"

"I just rolled my eyes so hard, I can see my brain."

"I am wearing a jacket, because my mom felt cold."

"Hey Bradley Cooper's eyes: the most beautiful sky imaginable called - it wants it's color back"

"It's always ""Too hard. Too soft. Too short. Too thick."" I'm never inviting Goldilocks to another orgy"

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off you c*nt!"""

"I just got back from the battered women's shelter... Boy are my arms tired!"

"Met a guy from Iraq today who grew a full beard as I was meeting him."

"So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything"

"I once had a substitute that had no rules, except for no Smashmouth. I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face."