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Joke of the Day

"Don't let herpes become yourpes."

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it It was a shitzu"

"*pulls up to a red light with my windows down blasting NPR*"

"How do you make an ant huge Add ""eleph"""

"Hendrik Lorentz walks into a bar... He sits down at the counter. The bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" Lorentz replies ""What do you expect? I'm barely moving"""

"Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write ""tip jar"" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator"

"If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I just really hope they segregate us by genre."

"A guy calls his boss and asks him: Guy: What's the difference between this morning and your daughter? Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!"

"Porn If you can't join em,.beat it."