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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever seen the house Ray Charles lived in? Neither did he."

"If I died suddenly, I wonder if anyone would take my previously unreleased tweets & remix them with Akon or whatever."

"You guys was right about Donald Trump harming the environment He's already making snowflakes melt!"

"I try to use proper grammar and punctuation in all of my tweets, until I'm about to go over the 140 character limit...& den u no how it b."

"My mom wants a new cooking skillet for Christmas. I haven't got the dough, but oh well, we'll see how things pan out."

"Presidents Day was created by big corporations to get you to buy more presidents."

"""Nice to meet you,"" she said, meeting me for the third time"

"My daughter swam with dolphins for $2,000. I think she should've been able to have sex with them for that price."

"The cashier at the local grocery store asked me if i wanted to donate 2$ to end world hunger, i was like HELL YEAH! I had no idea we were this close! I'm gonna be a god damn hero! Joke by Matt Donaher"

"What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: A philboard Bill: I have a better idea"