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Joke of the Day

"Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that's cheating?"

"Why is a racehorse like a letter? They both begin a trip at the post!"

"A man buys a house The guy he buys it from says ""we printed out the deed but didn't have paper so we printed it on this plank of wood, will that be okay?"" ""That wooden deed"""

"Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook."

"It's been five minutes since Adobe asked me to install an update. I hope they didn't go out of business or something."

"How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"

"Which President is the worst at Jenga? Bush, because he keeps knocking down towers"

"I heard Sean Connery's great grandpa was hung for lese-majeste. God, shave the Queen."

"Why shouldn't you give a meth addict laxatives? because it's already hard enough for them to keep their shit together."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste."