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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that killed two of his clients? Police are looking for a small medium at large."

"Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere."

"Lois Lane was fired from the Daily Planet after she knocked Clark Kent's glasses off and then panicked thinking a plane was in the building."

"You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend."

"Facebook is for Leaders.....Twitter is for Followers"

"Wife: ""Ian is coming over."" Me: ""Ian from work or Ian who is good at disguises?"" Wife: ""Ian- *pulls off mask* -who is good at disguises!"""

"When my kids misbehave we watch 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids' and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine."

"What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.? Between a politician and a news camera."

"18 holes What do you call the area between a womans vagina and butt hole? *The driving range, because that's where I hit my balls!*"

"I accidentally swallowed some food coloring the other day. The doctor said I was fine but I feel like I've dyed a little on the inside."