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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call an earthquake fault? A: A topographical error."

"I fucked a girl for 1 hour and 45 seconds tonight Thanks daylight savings"

"Visiting Child House I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around. They said no and slammed the door in my face. Parents can be real jerks..."

"What do you call anal sex on an airplane? High ass fuck"

"I went to get a haircut today... ...but I couldn't remember what I wanted off the top of my head, so I left."

"There was a little girl who had a curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very good. But when she was bad, hot damn, she was terrific!"

"I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know"

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes."

"I sometimes sit in the space between two buildings holding a large heap of catnip. You know, to get me some BACK ALLEY PUSSY."